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Literature Text
"Welcome to the academy, Pichu" Lucario said with a smile on his face. He gave me my schedule.
1st period Speed - Pikachu
2nd period hand to hand combat (attack) - Lucario
3rd period Special attack –Espeon
4th period Defense- Golem
5th period Hit points (Nap time) –Snorlax
6th period Special Defense –Milotic
"So you have Pikachu first, just go down the hall on the right." I was confused so he took me there. "See you in an hour!" He chanted. This room sucked. It had a bunch of spikes in the floor that go up and down. I haven't had to run this much since my last battle with my trainer against that silver Eevee. Stupid quick attack if the thing wasn't so quick and sparkly, I would have won! I felt sparks shooting out of my cheeks.
"There you are!" I turned around to find a bright yellow Pikachu.
"Dad?" I said without thought.
"NO YOU BABBLING IDIOT!" He shocked me.
"WHAT WAS THAT FOR!?!?!?! I THOUGHT THIS WAS SPEED!" I couldn't control myself. I felt like the Duskull being whipped by a Dusklops. I almost used thunderbolt.
"This is I just think misbehaved children need to be punished." I was coated with an electrical charge. I had to let it go. I'm going to kick this guy's anus when I evolve. "You must be tested so we can find your base speed." no one else was in the class room so I asked where everyone was. They're in different classes is the only response I could get out of this guy. It was even stranger when I had a base speed of 80. Higher than any pichu ever. My trainer would be proud. I miss Her so much.
When it was time to switch classes, no one was in the hall. If I did see anyone, they would run away from me like I had the Black Plague. Something was wrong about this school.
I went to Lucario in the gym. We had basic talk. At least he didn't shock me.
"Why am I the only one in this school?" I asked him as a simple question. It wasn't so simple. His face got dark, like he was hiding something. He turned from Jolly to Quiet in an instant. He focused and used close combat on the dummy we had. He told me to focus really hard and you can unleash my true power. I tried to get enough electricity for a volt tackle, but I felt overwhelmed with power. I got more than enough. For a minute, I could see my trainer's face feeding me from a bottle. I must have just hatched from an egg. I was so small and helpless.
I was out cold.
I remember hearing "He has amazing power! He made the whole school crash down! Arceus you have got to believe me! No? What do you mean no!?!?!? This could be our Chance!"
1st period Speed - Pikachu
2nd period hand to hand combat (attack) - Lucario
3rd period Special attack –Espeon
4th period Defense- Golem
5th period Hit points (Nap time) –Snorlax
6th period Special Defense –Milotic
"So you have Pikachu first, just go down the hall on the right." I was confused so he took me there. "See you in an hour!" He chanted. This room sucked. It had a bunch of spikes in the floor that go up and down. I haven't had to run this much since my last battle with my trainer against that silver Eevee. Stupid quick attack if the thing wasn't so quick and sparkly, I would have won! I felt sparks shooting out of my cheeks.
"There you are!" I turned around to find a bright yellow Pikachu.
"Dad?" I said without thought.
"NO YOU BABBLING IDIOT!" He shocked me.
"WHAT WAS THAT FOR!?!?!?! I THOUGHT THIS WAS SPEED!" I couldn't control myself. I felt like the Duskull being whipped by a Dusklops. I almost used thunderbolt.
"This is I just think misbehaved children need to be punished." I was coated with an electrical charge. I had to let it go. I'm going to kick this guy's anus when I evolve. "You must be tested so we can find your base speed." no one else was in the class room so I asked where everyone was. They're in different classes is the only response I could get out of this guy. It was even stranger when I had a base speed of 80. Higher than any pichu ever. My trainer would be proud. I miss Her so much.
When it was time to switch classes, no one was in the hall. If I did see anyone, they would run away from me like I had the Black Plague. Something was wrong about this school.
I went to Lucario in the gym. We had basic talk. At least he didn't shock me.
"Why am I the only one in this school?" I asked him as a simple question. It wasn't so simple. His face got dark, like he was hiding something. He turned from Jolly to Quiet in an instant. He focused and used close combat on the dummy we had. He told me to focus really hard and you can unleash my true power. I tried to get enough electricity for a volt tackle, but I felt overwhelmed with power. I got more than enough. For a minute, I could see my trainer's face feeding me from a bottle. I must have just hatched from an egg. I was so small and helpless.
I was out cold.
I remember hearing "He has amazing power! He made the whole school crash down! Arceus you have got to believe me! No? What do you mean no!?!?!? This could be our Chance!"
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PF is short for Pokemon "Faint"
Ohhhhh a tint of mystery? Of course you babbling idiot!
Two chapters one day! four things of writing, one day! YAY!
Chap 3: [link]
Comment please!
Ohhhhh a tint of mystery? Of course you babbling idiot!
Two chapters one day! four things of writing, one day! YAY!
Chap 3: [link]
Comment please!
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Comments10
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This one is harder to read. You seem to jump from topic to topic as in it doesn't flow so much. Try changing more of your sections into active sections rather than passive. Passive is when you seem to tell about the action rather than showing it up front. This actually seems to read like a diary entry and I'm not sure that's what you wanted. Although I've seen some writers write diary entries from a Character's point of view so I'm not really saying that doesn't work either. It just doesn't seem to fit your first chapter's style.